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My 26th birthday...

My 26th birthday...

Today, As soon as I opened my eyes, my son (Mikayl) called me "Amma...Amma.." for the first time. AadiLuhana wished me happy birthday and gifted me a handmade card. This was the best birthday gift I ever received. Aadil also gave me a flower. Thank you very much to all of you who wish me on my birthday. I would especially like to thank my family who takes care of even my smallest things and do every small thing to make me happy.

I would like to say to all of you that if I have ever hurt you knowingly or unknowingly, please forgive me. Or tell me if you feel bad about anything I said, I will apologize to you no issue. I have one more request for all of you. When I die, please delete any photo of me that is present on your social media or on your phone.

What a strange feeling it is that I am not able to feel anything. The excitement of the birthday is gone. Now it does not even matter whether someone wished me on my birthday or gave me a gift. Those who know me from before will know that if someone had not wished me happy birthday at 12:00 in the night on my birthday, I would not have even talked to them for who knows how many days. But there is nothing like that right now. Now it does not matter whether someone remembers my birthday or not. Because now people don't even have to remember. Facebook automatically gives reminders. But honestly, that earlier excitement was different. Which isn't felt at all right now.

Right now it feels like another year has been taken off my life. I have made a lot of mistakes this year. I have learnt a lot of new things. And I don't know whether I have done any good deed this year or not? If I die today, are there any deeds of mine that Allah will forgive me? Or have I performed such deeds that I can stand in front of Allah? There are a lot of things that I think about. But Allah knows better.

Today is the birthday of one of my friends also. I never wished anyone else "Happy Birthday" on my birthday. Today I shared my day actually my birthday with him. So, this year was different. I have met a lot of new people. They have made a special impact on my life. I am thankful to Allah that he sent those people into my life. Otherwise, the change that has come into my thinking my life today would never have happened. My perspective on the world has changed. I have tried to see the world by stepping out of my comfort zone. Whenever I feel that I am starting to understand the world. Something happens and I have to start from the beginning again. And in the end, I don't understand anything. That's why I always say "The world is an illusion!" And we are looking for peace in this world where prophet Adam (A.S) was sent as punishment. This is the world where friends become enemies. People are jealous of one another. People have forgotten to help each other. Instead of helping, They make fun of people who are of lower status than them.  People do not even hesitate to kill each other. What can I say, seeing the conditions around the world, I am fed up with the world. Alote Alote of things.

Yes..yes, we were talking about my birthday. Thank you very much to everyone who wished me on my birthday. It means a lot to me.



-Mehfuza Sultana 


Pictures credit - Pintrest
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Comments

Rehan Mirza said…
Waah Sab kuch samajhte hue bhi Kuch na Samajh pane ki ajeeb kaifiyat me likha hua bahut accha blog wo bhi apne janamdin par bahut khoob....Fikr gehri hai or zaroori bhi... Accha laga padhkar ��
May 3, 2024 at 9:49 PM
Rehan Mirza said…
सब कुछ समझते हुए भी कुछ न समझ पाने की अजीब कैफ़ियत में लिखा हुआ ब्लॉग
वो भी अपने जन्मदिन पर ,गहरी और ज़रूरी फ़िक्र है , पढ़कर ख़ुशी हुई !
May 3, 2024 at 9:54 PM
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