My 28th Birthday

Another year has passed. I am 28 now.

In just two years, I’ll be 30… and I honestly can’t believe it. How did I grow up so fast? It still feels unreal. It feels like just yesterday I was 18 busy preparing for my wedding, stepping into a completely new phase of life without truly understanding what it meant. And now… it has been 10 years of my marriage.

Time really doesn’t slow down, does it?

And here I am again, sitting with my thoughts on the night before my birthday trying to make sense of everything this year has been.

But the truth is…

I still don’t know where life is taking me. And maybe, I’m slowly learning to be okay with that.

This year felt different. Not because everything suddenly became perfect. but because somewhere in between all the chaos, I could actually see myself moving forward.

I’ve reached the second year of my PhD.

Even now, it feels strange to say it out loud. There are still days when I doubt myself when I feel like I’m not doing enough, not being enough. But despite everything, I didn’t stop.

I kept going.

Sometimes with motivation..... Sometimes with pressure..... And sometimes… just because I had no other option.

And yes, I still find myself wondering what comes after this? 

Maybe next year, when I write another birthday letter, I’ll have that answer.

I’ve always been involved in business it feels like it’s in my blood i do Freelancing before. But this year, I wanted something different. I wanted a new experience, so I started working proper job.. 

People said it wouldn’t last...

They said I overthink too much.

That I get irritated quickly.

That I’m too emotionally involved, 

And maybe they weren’t completely wrong. But still… I proved something to myself. They said I wouldn’t last six months.

And today, I’ve completed six months.

And Insha’Allah, I want to keep going.

Maybe it’s because the people I work with are good. Maybe it’s because I pushed myself. Or maybe… I’m stronger than I thought.

Balancing work and PhD is exhausting. Some days I feel like I have everything under control… and some days even the smallest task feels overwhelming.

But deep down, I know I can do this.

And I can do it even better.

Nothing about me has magically changed.

But maybe… I’ve started understanding myself a little better.

This year, I did something important.

I chose myself.

I stopped forcing conversations with people who didn’t truly like me.

I stopped adjusting for people who always made me feel like I wasn’t enough.

If someone likes me they do.

If they don’t they don’t.

It’s that simple.

And honestly… it always was.

I just took years to realize it.

This year, something happened that still feels unreal to me. "I got my own home." A place that’s mine.

My own space.

Not just to live in but to exist in. To breathe... To pause...

I didn’t buy it just to stay there. I bought it for my memories. For the days when I feel overwhelmed, when I need to step away from everything and just be with myself.

People told me to rent it out.

But I don’t want to. I want a place where I can go when I’m tired of everything. A place that belongs only to me. It’s not just a house. It’s a feeling. If I really think about it…

maybe I’ve come a long way.

But still, there’s a part of me that keeps asking

"Is this enough?"

Life is strange like that.

You achieve things you once dreamed of… and then you start questioning them.

Some things about me haven’t changed at all.

I’m still an overthinker.

I still feel things deeply.

I still get attached… maybe a little too much.

I still lose patience quickly.

I still get irritated over small things.

And sometimes, I pretend like I understand everything… even when I don’t.

But one thing I’ve learned this year I don’t have to be perfect to keep going.

I don’t have to have everything figured out.

Life is not a plan.

It just… happens.

And I’m learning to move with it.

Some people stayed...Some people left... And some… I had to let go.

Not every ending needs closure.

Not every connection is meant to last forever.

And I think… I’m finally at peace with that.

This year wasn’t just about achievements.

It was about becoming.

Understanding myself my patterns, my emotions, my flaws.

Realizing that I can’t always be there for everyone.

Learning slowly to choose myself… without guilt.

(Still learning though It’s a long process.)

And through everything, my family remained constant just like always. Their support, their presence, even their silent understanding… means more than I can ever express.

And somewhere inside me…

that little child still exists.

The one who gets excited.

The one who doesn’t want to grow up too fast.

The one who still believes in small joys.

This birthday doesn’t feel loud.

It feels… quiet... Like a pause.

Like I’m standing in the middle of everything and just thinking “Life is not perfect… but it’s not that bad either.” Allhumdu-lillah or everything 

Maybe I’m not where I thought I would be.

But I’m also not where I used to be.

And maybe… that’s enough.

Promises to Myself at 28

This year, I want to be more intentional about the way I live.

I will choose my peace over unnecessary attachments.

I will stop over-explaining myself to people who have already misunderstood me.

I will set boundaries even when it feels uncomfortable.

I will not chase people who don’t choose me.

I will protect my energy, my time and my emotions.

I will remind myself that I am allowed to outgrow people and situations.

I will take my work seriously but not at the cost of my mental peace.

I will trust my journey even when I don’t fully understand it.

I will stop being so hard on myself.

And most importantly, I will keep showing up for my own life.

So here’s to 28.

To uncertainty... To growth... To overthinking and still moving forward... To being imperfect… and still trying.

To life I don’t know where you’re taking me…

but I’m still here... And I’ll figure it out but first I'll cry. 

Maybe not today… but someday.

And yes… let’s be honest I may be 28 now, but the excitement for gifts?

Still the same Okay...

Happy Birthday to me.

- Mehfuza Sultana

(Added later)

There was a time in my childhood when I used to wonder, “Who even works on their birthday?”

For me, birthdays meant a full day of celebration no responsibilities, no stress, just happiness, attention  and a little extra love.

But life has a quiet way of shifting your perspective.

Today, I find myself working since 7 AM to 9PM on my own birthday. No complaints, no surprise just a calm acceptance. Somewhere along the way, priorities changed, responsibilities grew and the definition of celebration evolved.

Now, it’s less about taking a day off and more about showing up for my work, my goals and the life I’m building. And honestly, there’s a different kind of satisfaction in that. A quiet pride.

Maybe this is what growing up looks like

When you don’t stop celebrating… you just start celebrating differently.